START THE CONVERSATION

One of my friends and colleagues, a teacher and a lawyer whose whole life is about getting people to “open up” to him, when I ask about his end-of-life planning tells me “well, I’ve told each of my daughters more than once that if I don’t wake up some morning,“ I want them to know that “in this life I’ve had a good ride.” When I point out that it’s more likely he’ll be in a state where he can’t communicate the care he wants at the end of life, leaving those same daughters to make his decisions for him he tells me, “I know. I will. I’ll do the documents one of these days soon . . .” He’s been telling me that for years.

A few days ago, gently asking again, I reminded him that “most of us don’t have the good luck to be here one minute and gone the next,” which means that “for most of us, someone else is left to make very difficult decisions.”  Because I know him well I gave myself permission to reach in a little further and added “You know full well that for you leaving those decisions to someone else is something you’d regret.” Then I sent him to The Conversation Project. Now, I think he just might do it.

Ellen Goodman and her colleagues began The Conversation Project in 2012 because their own experience made them fully appreciate that  “Too many people are dying in a way they wouldn’t choose, and too many of their loved ones are left feeling bereaved, guilty, and uncertain . . .”

We had a chance to talk with Ms. Goodman about starting the conversation . . . Read more on the Explore page